Influx of concrete-eating rodents spells end for human involvement.
The UK demolition industry is bracing itself for the arrival of concrete-munching mutant rats that could spell the end of demolition as we know it.
According to national media reports today, the mutant rats – which are said to grow as big as sheep – have developed an appetite for concrete, potentially undermining human dominance of the industry.
“We have been developing new and ever more complex and expensive means of destroying concrete. But the solution was right under our nose all along,” said one industry pundit.
The mutant rats are likely to have an immediate impact on demolition prices. “As they come from overseas, they will work for peanuts, sometimes literally,” the anonymous pundit claimed.
This sentiment was echoed by another unnamed source who added: “It is only a matter of time before we see a company like Rentokil open a demolition subsidiary using trained mutant rodents. That’s just what the demolition industry needs; more rats.”
Further details on this supposedly genuine story can be found in today’s edition of the Daily Star.