HSE to insist on greater worker protection…

The Health and Safety Executive has announced radical steps to reduce site accidents.

With on site accidents static or rising, the Health and Safety Executive is recommending radical steps to prevent injuries from slips, trips, cuts, scrapes and broadsword attack.

Effective 1 April 2009, the HSE is recommending that all workers be supplied with a highly polished suit of armour that is impervious to all forms of likely damage. “We are recommending highly polished as, aside from the glare, it offers exceptionally high levels of visibility; far higher than those cheap and nasty high vis’ vests which, let’s face it, are very difficult to accessorise,” the HSE says. “Furthermore, there will no longer be an excuse for workers not having the correct PPE equipment with them at all times as they will be welded into these suits at the start of each working week and have no form of escape other than, perhaps, a sturdy can opener.”

The HSE says the new suits are being introduced in advance of the instigation of the Falling Over/Object Law (FOOL) later this year.

Although this latest move is designed specifically to reduce site accidents, the HSE believes that the new suits will have additional, day-to-day benefits. “Many demolition jobs take place in potentially rough inner city locations where there is a constant threat of physical violence,” the Executive explains. “Wearing these new suits, demolition workers can walk the streets of the UK safely and without fear of anything other than public ridicule and rust.”

Union representatives and other trade bodies report that they are currently preparing a response to the introduction of the new suits although www.demolitionnews.com understands that there has been a sudden, inexplicable and significant increase in sales of WD40 and Brasso.

“Our Medieval forebears knew a thing or two about safety,” concludes the HSE spokesperson. “So long as demolition workers remain constantly aware of potential arrow-induced eye injuries, these suits will reduce site accidents significantly.”